Officers were stunned when a drunken man climbed into the back of their patrol car and demanded they drive him home.
The two officers, who were on late-night duty outside a Newquay nightclub on Saturday, got out of their car and told the man to get out.
A court heard the man shouted and swore at the officers, saying: “I want a taxi home!”
He was removed from the vehicle but was so drunk that he was staggering around aimlessly using abusive language.
Despite repeated warnings, he was eventually arrested and spent the weekend in police cells.
Appearing from custody on Monday morning at Truro Magistrates’ Court was Ryan Staffiere, 28, of Henver Road, Newquay.
He pleaded guilty to being drunk and disorderly in a public place. He also admitted an offence of theft.
The court heard how police checked their records after he was arrested and discovered he was wanted for the theft of two bottles of Echo Falls wine from Penhallow Filling Station on Henver Road on March 17.
Prosecutor Alison May said Staffiere was identified on CCTV walking into the filling station shop, taking two bottles of wine from the shelf, and walking out without making any effort to pay.
The court heard Staffiere had a long-standing alcohol problem but was getting help from the agency Addaction and the Probation Service from previous court convictions.
The magistrates told him he was locked in a cycle of offending caused by alcohol and said it was up to him to turn his life around.
For the theft, Staffiere was handed a 12-month conditional discharge, meaning he will only be punished if he commits another offence in that time. He was also ordered to pay £13.40 compensation for the wine to the filling station.
The court made no separate penalty for being drunk and disorderly.